Duck & Run - Airport Dash

Duck & Run
The Airport Dash
By Hank Brown

I popped a few peanut butter M&M’s in my mouth, closed up the package and stuck the rest in the pocket of my shorts. I’ll finish them later. Right now I had too much to worry about. My flight from Tri-Cities Airport to Charlotte was running about 30 minutes late. Dang. I had a very close connection to Providence anyway, but now I had absolutely no wiggle room. Even before my flight touched down I figured I had about 15 minutes to make my next flight.

The sympathetic flight attendants allowed those of us with tight connections to deplane first. We all crowded toward the front, and waited impatiently for the doors to open. I looked at my watch… I now had 10 minutes to go from one end of Concourse E to the other end of Concourse B. It was going to be close. I was wearing Crocks, carpenter shorts, and a t-shirt, which was not ideal running attire, but it could have been worse. I stuck my reading glasses and Blackberry in the pocket of my shorts, and took off.

It’s not very often that we get to use our running skills for much more than just traveling around city streets. I mean think about it… we run miles and miles every day to stay in shape, but when do we really USE our running skills? We can run marathons, which is the equivalent of running from my town to my neighboring town, but why would I do that? We don’t have to run to work, or to school, or to the grocery store. People would think we were crazy.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been involved in a conversation with a non-runner, and they invariably ask me how much I run.

“Oh, it depends, but about 5-7 miles most days,” I answer.

They give me this incredulous look, and say, “Why would you want to do that? I wouldn’t run unless someone was chasing me.” They laugh like it’s the funniest thing anyone has ever said.

You see, the typical Wal-Mart shopper just doesn’t comprehend doing something like running unless they absolutely have to. Well, here I was looking like an O.J. Simpson commercial in the Charlotte Airport, and I thought, “This is pretty cool. I have to do this or I won’t catch my flight. I’m trained to do this.”

Speaking of being chased, and I digress just a little… a few months ago my wife and I had been out late at night to a formal party. When we returned home, our adventurous basset hound squeezed past us when we opened the gate to the backyard. I guess she figured she was going to make a jail break, and see what the rest of the neighborhood looked, and smelled like.

Natalie took off after the fleeing hound. It was pretty comical to see that short-legged dog with long ears being pursued down the middle of the street in the middle of the night by a woman in a cocktail dress and 4-inch heels. Our little escaped convict gave it all she had for a few blocks, but was no match for her marathon-trained owner. Natalie could have chased that dog all the way to the next zip code, but it only took a few blocks. That dog was probably thinking, “Darn it, of all the owners I could have in the world, I end up with two long-distance runners!”

So, Natalie chased down a chubby basset hound. Now, it was my turn to chase down a jet airplane. Even though I only had 10 minutes, I knew I still had to pace myself. I saw a man in a business suit take off in front of me. I could tell he wasn’t a runner… he was a little frumpy, and just didn’t have that “runner look,” if you know what I mean.

“He’s going out too fast,” I thought. “I’ll catch him later.”

I dodged oncoming travelers and passenger carts, but kept my pace. I saw a moving walkway, and jumped on, thinking I could make up some time if I could run on the walkway. The man in the suit ran around it.

“Bad move,” I thought. “I’ll surely pass him now.”

The walkway is great if you’re walking, but not if you’re running and trying to pass people standing and/or walking on the walkway. I got caught up in the congestion, much like at the start of the Cooper River Bridge Run. I was thinking, “Man, I just blew it.” The suit was pulling away from me, and was soon out of sight.

I finally got off the walkway, and knew I had to make up some time. I didn’t panic. I picked up the pace just a little. It was difficult finding a lane to run, but I did my best picking my way through all the obstacles. I could see the suit ahead of me. I must admit, he was doing better than I thought, but I was still confident I would catch him. Not that it mattered, of course, but it was a challenge to my running ego.

We turned a corner and headed down a long hallway where the traffic thinned out just a little. I bypassed the next moving walkway, and I was finally making up some ground. Then I saw it. His form was breaking down. He was bobbing. He was slowing down drastically. I knew from my racing experience that I had him. I cruised past Mr. Suit, and gave him the Lance Armstrong Look. He was history.

I turned from Concourse E to the common food court area. It was more crowded here so I had to really bob and weave through the travelers. I turned to Concourse B and glanced up at the departure board. The flight to Providence was on time and boarding. Dang!

I was now in full stride and picking up the pace. Sweat was rolling off my forehead as I passed gate after gate like street signs on the road. I finally saw my gate up ahead. They were still boarding! I was going to make it.

I jogged into the passenger area, got in line, and caught my breath. I showed the attendant my boarding pass and boarded the plane. I was feeling pretty good about myself as I sat down in my seat. “Not many people could have made this flight,” I bragged to myself. I remembered I better send Natalie a text and let her know I made it.

I reached into my pocket, and much to my surprise, pulled out a gooey mess of chocolate and peanut butter caked all over my Blackberry and reading glasses. I guess M&M’s won’t melt in your hands, but they will melt in your pocket when you run through the airport.

The lady sitting next to me looked at my sweat-soaked shirt, and my chocolate-coated cell phone, and surely thought to herself, “Why do I always get the crazy ones?”

I figured I better explain, “Uh, I had M&M’s in my pocket, and I just ran from Concourse E to make this flight.” She laughed and went back to her book.

I hope my bag made it…